And Getting Closer

I went to Ellen's house yesterday to watch movies with her, Seth, Jason, and Lisa. We watched the movie Big, but Ellen didn't pay any attention to it at all, and Jason got up halfway through and went looking through Ellen's bookshelves. I didn't think the movie was all that bad but then again, I sat next to Seth and he kept his arm around me the whole time! When the movie ended, I walked Seth out to his car. He surprised me and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away, unsure of why, but confident in my choice. Seth was obviously hurt, and he asked why I followed him to the car anyway. That's when I told him that I liked him, but I was just having a tough time dealing with things since the night of Wayne's party. I got kind of upset with him because he asked if I saw Cameron that night, it was like asking if I did it purposely. I blew up at him and went back into Ellen's house, leaving Seth in his car. By that time everyone else had left and Ellen and I set up our sleeping bags in her room. As we did so, Ellen told me that Jason had been reading the Bible when everyone else was watching the movie, and she claims he took it with him when he left. After a few quiet minutes, Ellen broke the silence by asking if Seth and I had had a fight. I wouldn't have answered just anyone about this, but Ellen has a way with getting things out of me. I told her we had fought about the accident, and to my surprise she apologized. She apologized for passing out. She apologized for leaving me on my own. She apologized for being so drunk. Then we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. The accident, Ellen passing out on top of me, the screaming, stopped, it all came back to me. Mrs. Gerson came into Ellen's room and woke me up. I guess I was screaming and twisting and turning in my sleep. Mrs. Gerson told me I needed to take a bath and relax, but Ellen vetoed this saying I was fine. Ellen's mom turned to look at both me and Ellen and said, You are not okay. And neither are you. Neither of you is okay.