Now What?

Eleven days and counting since I killed Cameron. This afternoon I tried to study for my biology quiz tomorrow, but I just couldn't focus. My mind kept wandering and I wound up thinking about Ellen, my eye, the counseling I apparently need, and oh, the fact that I killed someone! I gave up on the studying when I realized it just wasn't working, and went to talk to Jack. As much as I wanted the words to come out of my mouth, I couldn't explain the night of Wayne's party to him. The pain I felt, the screaming, stopped, it all came back to me. I went to my room to google sites on dying. I didn't find the kind of site I was looking for, though. What I really wanted was to find out what to do when you're the one who has killed someone.